Chuck Schumer And 10 Other Members Of Congress Tell Us How They Like Their Burgers Cooked

It’s summer grilling season once again, and where better to look for tips and ideas on how to have the best cookout than our wise leaders in the United States Congress?

The Babylon Bee polled America’s lawmakers to find out how they liked their burgers cooked, and here’s a roundup of the best — and most informative — responses:

1. Chuck Schumer: “Raw, with extra cheese… just like my cousin Amy’s comedy.”

2. Mitch McConnell: “Completely frozen for at least 20 seconds.”

3. Nancy Pelosi: “Smashed, with extra vodka, like any traditional burger.”

4. Majorie Taylor Greene: “Roasted to perfection by a Jewish space laser.”

5. Lori Lightfoot: “Give it to us raw… and wriggling.”

6. Elizabeth Warren: “With a slice of fresh Peyote, just like my authentic Cherokee ancestors.”

7. Mike Johnson: “However the Democrats want it cooked.”

8. Eric Swalwell: “With a little bit of Asian spice on the side.”

9. Adam Schiff: “Slathered in Russian dressing. RUSSIA! RUUUSSSIIAAA!”

10. Ilhan Omar: “In bread, like my kids.”

If the list above doesn’t make you hungry for a big, juicy burger, nothing will. Fire up your grill and start flipping patties the way your senators and representatives flip their votes!

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