INDIANAPOLIS, IN — Following Angel Reese’s recent flagrant foul in the second grudge matchup between the Chicago Sky and the Indiana Fever, a decapitated Caitlin Clark addressed the recent spate of aggression against her by saying that “it’s just basketball.”
“Chill everyone! It’s just a game!” said the stump where Clark’s head used to be. “We all get a little carried away sometimes. It’s all good.”
Fans at the game claim that Reese “took a huge swing at Clark,” which “accidentally severed” Clark’s head from her shoulders. Nothing daunted, Clark allegedly continued to prove her absolute dominance by draining two free throws “like a total boss lady.”
“Yeah, Caitlin’s just one of those players who never loses her head even after it has been removed,” stated Indiana Fever Head Coach Christie Sides as the all-time leading women’s collegiate scorer drained a half-court three to the delight of a roaring crowd. “I mean, even though she got literally decapitated, she always seems to keep a solid head on her shoulders.”
According to eyewitnesses, Clark stood up and walked it off, playing a critical role in curb-stomping the Chicago Sky before seeking medical attention after the post-game press conference. Clark later spoke graciously about her opponent’s attack, explaining that “it’s all just part of the game” and “fouls happen — it’s just basketball.”
At publishing time, Clark had walked it off and won another game against the Chicago Sky, this time after Angel Reese had “accidentally” shot her several times with a bazooka.
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