Report: Every Place On Earth Has Wrong Amount Of Water

RESTON, VA—A new global report released Monday by the U.S. Geological Survey revealed that every place on earth currently has the wrong amount of water. “New satellite data confirms that every corner of the earth has the incorrect quantity of water,” the report read in part, noting that even though the total amount of water on the planet seemed to be about right, give or take a few hundred milliliters, the distribution of that water across the globe was “way off.” “In every case, there is either too much or too little water, with zero exceptions. Even when we try to move it around ourselves to make it even, someone keeps moving it back. It’s very frustrating.” The USGS did, however, note that the amount of fire on earth had been properly disbursed.