Jesus' Coming Back

10 perfectly innocent explanations for why Pierre Poilievre won’t get national security clearance

’s refusal to get a national security clearance so he can read the report on in Canada’s is raising eyebrows, with many suggesting that maybe he can’t get a security clearance because he poses a security risk. Nonsense! There are many totally reasonable reasons for why Mr. Poilievre would choose not to get cleared. Here are just a few:

1. He lost his National Security Clearance card and is too embarrassed to ask for a replacement

2. The day he was supposed to go for the interview was dollar shot night at O’Hallagans

3. His Russian and/or Indian government handlers told him not to

4. He heard you have to be vaccinated to get it

5. Getting it would require him to lie slightly less than he does currently

6. Some of his MPs have it and they promised to let him copy their notes

7. He doesn’t want to do anything does. That’s also why he stopped showering and talking to his children

8. He doesn’t need to read the report on foreign collusion, as he remembers all the times he colluded with a foreign government very well

9. Being a national security risk is all part of the bad boy makeover he went through last summer

10. He’s too busy working 24/7 to assist struggling Canadians finally own the Libs.

So there you go. The important thing to remember is he can get it if he wants to. For sure. Definitely.

Beaverton

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