CALGARY – With WestJet now charging a $25 fee to book flights over the phone, the airline has also announced they will now charge a similar $25 fee every single time a person in Canada utters the name “WestJet”.
Reports indicate that WestJet, which recently introduced their “Just The Wings” Basic Fare, has already begun charging individuals for any mention of the company’s name within the territorial boundaries of Canada. This charge applies whether the person currently is or is not a WestJet customer, or whether they have ever even flown on a plan at all.
From across the country reports have flooded in of Canadians being sent bills for $25 per mention of the word WestJet, with some people reporting still being charged the fee for saying similar-sounding phrases like “Best Bet”, “Mess Tent”, and for one unlucky Hamilton man, “Swiffer Wet Jet”.
“We at WestJet believe this $25 charge for the audible use of our intellectual property is more than fair,” explains WestJet CEO Alexis von Hoensbroech. “It’s all part of our company’s stated mission to extract every single penny from Canada’s consumers, and make air travel the most financially excruciating experience that I possibly can be.”
Across the country, Canadians weighed in on WestJet’s new $25 “Saying Our Name” fee.
“How did they even hear me say it, I was just muttering to myself in the car,” noted Fatima Singh, of Lethbridge. “Whatever money they’re not spending on keeping track of my luggage, they’re definitely putting into surveillance technology.”
“I was just saying to my wife ‘WestJet sucks’, and now they’re telling me I owe them $25,” adds Tedd Verrmann of Gander, NFLD. “Wait, I owe them $25 for just saying it now as well? Fucking WestJet! Godammit, again!!”
At press time, your flight has been delayed another hour, and moved to a gate on the other side of the terminal.
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