Juneteenth is a beautiful celebration of the end of slavery in the United States — but what is the best way for the melanin-challenged among us to show that you’re hip to the cause?
Fortunately for you caucasians out there, we at the Babylon Bee have compiled a sure-fire list of ways for you to demonstrate your support for your black fellow citizens this Juneteenth!
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Say “What is up my brotha from anotha motha” to greet any black person you meet: They will instantly know you’re like family.
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Wear one of those kente cloths and kneel for 8 minutes in the middle of the road: Nothing says you care like making the whole neighborhood late for work.
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Invite a black friend over to watch Roots together: Then beg forgiveness and ask them to absolve you of your white guilt afterward. They love this!
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Purchase a Finn action figure: Because nothing screams “ALLY” like a stormtrooper of color.
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Spend months trying to learn how to clap on rhythm to gospel music: Just like this — 🎶🎵🎶I’ll 👏🏻Flyyyyy👏🏻👏🏻Awaaaaaayyyy👏🏻 Oh Glooooory👏🏻👏🏻 🎶🎵 Awww, don’t worry, you’ll get it eventually!
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Paint a George Floyd mural on your black neighbor’s driveway: They will be so surprised and thankful.
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Every time you see a black person, go right up to them and whisper “I see you” in their ear: Incredibly reassuring.
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Stand stock-still while smiling weirdly during a Juneteenth concert after aides accidentally switch your uppers for some edibles: Tried and true!
Well, there you go — hopefully this helps you get into the Juneteenth spirit this year! Now go get that Finn action figure!
Check out Hasbro’s latest update to the classic board game “Guess Who?” – now with more genders, inclusion, and fun!*
*Fun not guaranteed
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Babylon Bee
Jesus Christ is King
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