The Supreme Court recently struck down a rule banning bump stocks, which have been used in several high-profile mass shootings to inflict maximum damage. The Onion explores the pros and cons of using these devices that allow semiautomatic rifles to fire almost as fast as machine guns.
- PRO: Vastly increases the effectiveness of making them all pay.
- CON: Long day of mass-shooting people could leave shoulder sore.
- PRO: Blood of the innocent not going to spill itself.
- CON: Hurts local black markets.
- PRO: Keep pace with escalating deer technologies.
- CON: Still no substitute for Viagra.
- PRO: Brings country closer to the nonstop bloodbath Founding Fathers aspired to in Constitution.
- CON: Bug-out bag already full.
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