Relaxed Orioles Security Will Get Around To Removing Fan From Field In Another Inning Or So

BALTIMORE—Vowing to eventually address the hooligan, relaxed Orioles security guard Rob McKenzie told reporters Monday that his crew would get around to removing a fan from the field in another inning or so. “Eh, he’s not hurting anyone, so what’s another inning or two of him sprinting around the diamond?” said McKenzie, explaining that the crazed fan, who had hopped the fence several innings before and begun zigzagging across the field, would tucker himself out at some point. “Who knows, he’ll probably get bored of trying to pants the batter soon and leave on his own. There’s plenty of innings left, so no huge rush.” At press time, sources confirmed the security guards finally got around to subduing the disorderly fan with deadly force.