U.S. — Seeking to capitalize on the voters’ response to the primary defeat of Congressman Jamaal Bowman, Republicans across the country launched efforts to raise money to send Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to dance at campaign rallies for all Democratic candidates.
Following Bowman’s loss, exit polling data indicated voters broke toward his opponent in a stunning indictment of Ocasio-Cortez’s dance moves at a campaign event in the Bronx last week, leading to a GOP initiative to replicate the event nationwide.
“Having her dance at every Democrat rally could be huge for us,” said one Republican insider. “Once the public sees her jumping around and gyrating and… convulsing, voters will turn out in droves to vote for our candidates. This could be the best thing that happened for our races this fall, despite the fact that it may be the worst thing for everyone with eyes.”
Voters reached for comment confirmed that the strategy would be effective. “Oh, good grief, I’ll vote for anyone running against the candidate she dances for,” one voter said. “My cousin was considering voting for Bowman, but once he saw AOC doing… whatever it was she was doing on that stage, he knew he couldn’t in good conscience go through with it. If the Republicans send her to dance for every Democrat candidate, the GOP will sweep every race.”
At publishing time, the Republican National Committee expected to have tremendous success by showing a frightening campaign ad that consisted of nothing but a looped video of AOC’s dance moves.
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