LAS VEGAS — President Biden impressed millions of viewers during tonight’s presidential debate by inventing a brand new language live on TV.
“We find idea where fadffkvk damavdvdv,” Biden said, demonstrating his brand new language.
The new language appears to be a mix of English words, repurposed with new definitions, along with other words that are nearly impossible to pronounce.
“Dvafd remfamf mfahahm,” Biden continued. “Malarkey! The idea fvfvfv!”
The debate moderators appeared to struggle with Biden’s fantastic and efficient new language at first but stopped worrying when they realized it wouldn’t change what they thought of the president’s debate performance.
According to Nielsen Ratings, the broadcast experienced a striking uptick in viewership from the elusive linguist demographic.
“I don’t know what it means,” said Dr. Samuel Norris, a Harvard PhD. “But I’m excited.”
At publishing time, the debate entered its second hour. For undisclosed reasons, a coroner is standing by.
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