EXCLUSIVE: The Babylon Bee Has Obtained Biden’s Official 10 AM To 4 PM Daily Work Schedule

According to reliable media sources, Biden is “dependably engaged” between the hours of 10 AM and 4 PM and performs most of his work during that period. But that’s only six hours — how can he possibly run the country in such a short period? To find out, we obtained an exclusive copy of the daily work schedule White House aides use to keep Biden on task.

Take a look for yourself.

Biden’s Daily Work Schedule:

10:00 AM — Wake-up call

10:15 AM — Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs

10:30 AM — Coffee and cocaine with Hunter

11:00 AM — Morning Briefing to remind him he’s the President

11:15 AM — Sign executive orders (just tell him they’re to get rid of junk fees)

11:30 AM — Remind him that Commander now lives in a farm upstate and is “very happy”

11:45 AM — Second Morning Briefing to again remind him he’s the president

Noon — Lunch Break

12:30 PM — Ice cream treat if he finishes all his vegetables

1:00 PM — After Lunch Briefing to again remind him he’s the President

1:15 PM — Power Nap

1:45 PM — Change diaper and take pills

2:00 PM – 2:30 PM — Destroy America

2:30 PM — Wii Tennis with the boys

3:00 PM — Afternoon Briefing to remind him what was discussed in the previous 2 briefings

3:15 PM — Take daily regimen of intravenous drugs to stay lucid

3:30 PM — Arrive late to deliver teleprompter address on a sound stage

4:00 PM — Quittin’ Time!

Not even George Washington had a schedule this jam-packed. Trump may have worked a 24-hour day, but most of it was on Twitter so it doesn’t count.

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