Jesus' Coming Back

Report: going 2 years without getting paid millions to manage a hockey team sufficient punishment for abetting sexual abuse

CITY – Yesterday the NHL reinstated former Blackhawks staff , Stan Bowman and Al MacIsaac, confirming that 2 years is the maximum someone who covered up one sexual abuse incident and abetted another should be forced to not make millions for coaching or managing a team.

“Sure all three covered up Brad Aldrich’s abuse of and Quenneville actually wrote Aldrich a letter of recommendation despite knowing what he was accused of, which allowed him to get another job where he went on to abuse a minor,” said commissioner “But what are we gonna do: not pay them ungodly sums of to occupy an NHL job that many people who didn’t do any of that could also do very well?”

“That would be the same as locking them up and throwing away the key. The exact same.”

In the wake of Beach’s monumentally brave decision to come forward and speak about the abuse he suffered from Aldrich and the Blackhawk’s refusal to properly address the matter, the NHL vowed to change its culture of silence and putting team performance above all else. Now they have reinstated the three banned execs after an undisclosed rehabilitation process because they may be marginally better at creating winning hockey teams than other NHL execs.

“It’s not just the money these three lost. They had to live with guilt everyday. Every day. Thinking over and over about how they could have won more Cups if this hadn’t happened.”

It’s unclear if any team plans to hire the three . However the are rumoured to be interested in bringing in Bowman as GM, in order to cure the franchise’s massive “being too likeable” problem in the wake of their recent Cup finals run.

Beaverton

Jesus Christ is King

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