Study: More Women Forgoing IVF In Favor Of Hoping For Surprise Baby On Toilet

WASHINGTON—According to a study of fertility trends conducted by the Pew Research Center and published Tuesday, more women of childbearing age are choosing to forgo in vitro fertilization in favor of hoping a surprise baby simply falls out when they are in the bathroom relieving themselves. “Rather than paying a fortune for IVF and then stressing out about whether it will even work, I’ve decided the best option for me is to see if one day, without even knowing I’m pregnant, I just sit down on the toilet and a baby comes shooting out of my body,” said a 37-year-old respondent to the Pew survey, citing the high failure rate of IVF and concerns about spending her life savings on the procedure when she could instead wait until a time when she thinks she needs to “take a really big shit” and is then delighted to find she has expelled a baby from her uterus. “While I totally respect that IVF is the right choice for many women, it’s also an invasive procedure with no guarantees—whereas taking off your jeans to find a fully formed and completely unexpected baby inside your pant leg has a 100% success rate in the cases where that happens. So my plan is to have a lot of unprotected sex, not take any pregnancy tests, and just see what shows up in my stool.” The study noted that few fertility doctors tell their patients about the surprise-baby method, leaving most women to find out about it from reruns of a 15-year-old TLC show.