Hims Opens Brick-And-Mortar Brothel To Boost Men’s Confidence

SAN FRANCISCO—Describing the new service as a “game changer” for its most loyal customers, telehealth company Hims opened a brick-and-mortar brothel Wednesday with the aim of boosting men’s confidence. “Hims is proud to launch its first-ever house of prostitution, which employs hundreds of highly trained sex workers ready and willing to help men address their complete lack of self-assurance,” said Hims CEO Andrew Dudum, adding that the state-of-the-art storefront facility, which occupies a 15,000-square-foot space in the heart of downtown San Francisco, has three distinct floors populated with escorts who specialize in assisting men suffering from low sexual stamina, premature ejaculation, and erectile dysfunction. “Previously, men who wanted a confidence-boost would have to go to the back room of a strip club, book an hourly motel, or take awkward walks through a red-light district. But with the Hims brothel, all you have to do is open your phone, consult one of our virtual pimps, and make an appointment to stop by. This is sex work the way it should be.” Dudum went on to announce that sister company Hers had opened up a brick-and-mortar orphanage for women to dump their kids at so they could finally feel like their old selves again.