Charlottetown, PEI – Despite promises that all tabs would reopen, a trusting local woman lost all of her emotional support tabs in a recent Chrome update.
Michelle Greene has had at least 83 tabs open for the last few years. She typically waits until the Chrome update bar has turned red but, this time, she was bold and daring and updated early. Right after hitting the update button, there was a pop-up that something went wrong, and her laptop restarted. When she went to restore, Chrome showed no recent history leaving her with no way to recall every one that was tragically lost.
“Some of those tabs had been open since the beginning of the pandemic when I was really going to become the ideal version of me. Advice, recipes, a 2-minute full-body workout video, spoilers for Tiger King – all lost. These emotional support tabs spoke to an ideal future version of me,” lamented Ms. Greene. “I opened a new tab and felt a sense of loneliness so deep that it made me question if I ever wanted to search anything ever again.”
A leading social psychologist, Dr. Sara Raiz, told us that this urge to acquire knowledge but then to never actually do anything to learn those things is an age-old habit. “Before the internet, people would pile books on the bedside table, they would cut out and save articles from magazines and newspapers to read later,” explained Dr. Raiz. “But now we get to digitally collect them in our quest for knowledge that we will never obtain.”
While this is a rare occurrence, Chrome’s leading product engineer, Pavel Erdem, said the promise of all your tabs reopening is not one that they can 100% guarantee. “When we push our weekly update, we believe the real security is in having your online spiritual brace still in tact,” said Mr. Erdem. “When I hear that we’ve failed on relaunch, I go to this tab I’ve had opened since I started my career about nurturing mental toughness and it puts everything into perspective.”
At press time, Greene was looking for a puppy to fill the hole in heart but, left the tab open, so she could come back to later.
Jesus Christ is King
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