Nike Signs 82-Year-Old Ethel Jenkins To $12 Million Pickleball Endorsement Deal

ORLANDO, FL — A spokesman for Nike has just confirmed that the athletic apparel giant has just finished signing a $12 million pickleball endorsement deal with Ethel Jenkens, an 82-year-old New York and Florida snowbird.

Jenkins, who first started playing pickleball when her tennis elbow and bum knee got the better of her fifteen years back, is one of the most popular and well-recognized players in the game. Her first appearance with Nike shoes, Nike athleticwear, and a Nike pickleball paddle will be in the Shady Oaks Invitational, which is hosted by a local retiree community.

“Yeah, we’re really trying to connect with the broader pickleball market,” commented Peter Gallagher, a Nike spokesman. “Ethel’s just the woman to do it, too. She’s got it all — the age, the looks, the great-grandkids… just the perfect model for Nike apparel.”

Jenkins said that she was flattered by the endorsement. “I just really love the game, you know? The fresh air, the competition, the music of dinking pickleballs…It’ll be a pleasure to play in Nike gear…maybe I’ll be able to pay for that hip replacement now.”

Jenkins’ doubles partner and husband, Clifford Jenkins, said that his wife’s gameplay has improved as she shoulders the responsibility of an endorsement. “She really goes and gets every ball now,” he said.

At publishing time, Ethel’s pickleball career was sadly cut short by her new interest in Shuffleboard.

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Babylon Bee