85 Minutes Into Rules Explanation, Man Regrets Agreeing To Play Friend’s Fun New Board Game

MURFREESBORO, TN — Sources close to Scott Trimble report that the 36-year old began to “highly regret” agreeing to play one of his friend Lance’s new board games as Lance’s explanation of the rules of “Dark Moon: The Last Of Malevolence” entered its 85th minute.

Eyewitnesses claim that the icy clutches of regret first snatched Scott’s heart as Lance began to explain the rules about claiming territories, but the heroic martyr to friendship managed to hold out until Lance reached the paragraph stating that “each player has to choose one of four actions, which are each divided into two sub-actions — unless you’re the paladin or the knight — but ‘retreating’ is actually just part of the ‘battling’ action, and so you can play it twice and still do more actions if you want, and…”

“It was just too much,” Trimble recalled after the experience. “And then he started explaining how the first print of the game was different from the second edition, even though both are official, and why he preferred the third over either of the first two. I was like, bro, chill. I just wanted to kick back and kill time for half an hour.”

“I guess this is why they say friendship isn’t always easy,” Trimble added.

Sources say that Lance continued to explain the rules for another fifteen minutes before carefully setting up the game for ten minutes and waking Scott up so that they could play.

At publishing time, eyewitnesses had confirmed that Scott self-sacrificially played the entire game for the full five and a half hours. He has been named to the Friendship Hall of Fame.

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Babylon Bee