Kamala Harris Freaked Out After Seeing Her LinkedIn Profile Got Over 30 Views This Week

WASHINGTON—Her heart racing as she stared at the page, Vice President Kamala Harris reportedly freaked out Wednesday after seeing her LinkedIn profile had received more than 30 views this week. “What the hell? I’m blowing up!” said Harris, who is believed to have been unnerved by the unprecedented spike in notifications, a development that was particularly surprising to her considering she had not updated the page in at least two years. “What does this mean? Is it 30 different people looking at my profile, or one person looking at it 30 times? Am I getting fired? Is it a recruiter? That’s it—I’m shelling out for premium.” At press time, sources confirmed a disappointed Harris had discovered that one view had come from Democratic National Committee chair Jaime Harrison, and the rest were all from bots.