With President Biden potentially stepping aside despite winning his party’s primary, millions are asking — what would transpire next? The Babylon Bee explains the nine things that will happen if Biden were to resign:
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The nuclear football is given to “the black guy” until the next President can be sworn in: Biden’s words, not ours.
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SWAT team will be deployed to smoke Jill Biden out of Oval Office: Standard operating procedure.
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Kamala Harris will be sworn in whenever she regains consciousness from her cackling fit: Buckle up, Justice Roberts.
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Jill Biden will then propose to Kamala Harris: The First Lady isn’t giving up that easy.
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A golden snitch is then released into the Capitol and whoever captures it becomes Vice President: Our money is on Liz Warren since she can ride a horse.
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The cocaine at the White House will finally be returned to its rightful owner: It’s about time.
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Biden will begin construction on “The Joe Biden Center For Kids Who Don’t Launder Money Good”: Like a Presidential Library, only better.
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Netflix will announce a biopic of Joe Biden, starring Denzel Washington: And Halle Berry as Jill Biden.
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Candidates to take Biden’s place on the November ballot must fight to the death under a waterfall: Just like Wakanda, whose Constitution is surprisingly a direct rip-off of America’s.
It could be a wild few weeks – get ready, America!
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Babylon Bee
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