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Artist Profile: Chappell Roan

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Chappell Roan, the breakout artist behind hits such as “Hot To Go!” and “Good Luck, Babe!” has experienced a meteoric rise in popularity, drawing massive crowds at music festivals across the country. Here is what you need to know about the pop star:

  • Birth Name: Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta
  • Age: Younger, and therefore better, than you
  • Birthplace: Spirit Halloween
  • Musical Genre: Post-bi
  • Vocal Style: Avant-yodel
  • Natural Hair Color: Seafoam green
  • Religion: Orthodox John Watersism
  • Shoe Size: Why are you asking, pervert?
  • Message To Fans: Remain in the parlor for at least one hour after dinner is over, lest your hostess think you only came to eat and your interest in her home has now ceased
  • Date Of Upcoming Backlash: March 22, 2025

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