HOUSTON, TX — Sources close to local Acme Solutions, Inc. accountant Gerald Johnson say the model P-51 Mustang sitting on his desk might have been the thing that got him through another day.
According to eyewitnesses, Johnson was suffering through yet another day of spreadsheets, meetings, and emails about maintaining corporate commitment to quality solutions at value-assured prices when his roving eye lit upon the sweet model of the North American Aviation P-51 Mustang which adorned his boring corporate desk and realized that he could perhaps make it through the grueling desiccation of another afternoon.
“I saw it and was transported to a brighter day,” Johnson recalled. “The roar of the single piston-engined fighter and the rattle of six gorgeous .50-caliber machine guns lighting up the sky like stars filled my ears. I felt the exhilaration of glory and the need for speed — then I looked back at the spreadsheet I was working on and realized that I could maybe, just barely, live to fight another day.”
“He looked enthralled,” said Heather Willougby, one of Johnson’s co-workers. “I stopped by his cubicle to ask about tomorrow’s corporate LGBTQ inclusion meeting and saw him, fully entranced, spinning the little model propellers with his finger and enacting the Battle of Midway all over again. I figured my question could wait. He just looked so happy. Maybe I need one of those planes myself.”
At publishing time, Johnson’s manager had forced him to put away his Mustang and come to an all-staff meeting, thereby completely dispelling any hopes Johnson had of surviving the rest of the day.
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Babylon Bee
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