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Top VP Picks For Kamala Harris

Brought to you by: Praxis

Questions are swirling in the wake of President Biden’s withdrawal from the presidential campaign. What is Kamala Harris? Why is Kamala Harris? And who will she pick for her VP?

Thanks to a tough bit of investigative journalism, we at the Babylon Bee have recovered Kamala Harris’ shortlist of picks for Vice-President, which was helpfully written in crayon on a used Arby’s napkin. Take a look!

  1. The White Witch: No, not Gretchen Whitmer, just the one from Narnia.

  2. Joe Biden: One good turn deserves another. Plus, he’s sharp as a tack.

  3. A clean, articulate black man: Any one will do.

  4. The buff Asian guy from Bloodsport: America’s enemies will cower in fear.

  5. Jack Daniels: Finally, a VP who can provide proper emotional support.

  6. One of the women from the 2016 all-female reboot of Ghostbusters: They were trailblazers for women everywhere.

  7. Ilhan Omar: Nothing like a little impeachment insurance.

  8. Secret Service Director Kim Cheatle: So Kamala can look more competent by comparison.

  9. Justin Trudeau: It would be great to get another woman on the ticket.

  10. Michael Obama: It’ll be a historic Black Woman, Black Man Ticket.

  11. Julia Louis-Dreyfus: She did an amazing portrayal of Kamala in Veep.

  12. Electric school buses: Kamala LOVES them.

Making a choice for VP will surely be a tough choice with all those options. We’ll stay tuned to see who she picks.


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