LEE’S SUMMIT, MO — A local church faced a challenging task in filling an open position on the staff after its youth pastor announced his retirement from ministry to become a professional foosball player.
Jeremy Wyatt held a press conference at Crown Pointe Church to notify congregants and youth ministry students that he had made the decision to leave full-time ministry to pursue his dream of joining the professional foosball circuit, effective immediately.
“It’s time to focus on the next chapter of my life,” a tearful Wyatt said. “While I have enjoyed spending so many years teaching and shepherding students as they pursue a deeper knowledge of God, I have enjoyed slaughtering them in foosball even more. It is with a heavy heart that I step away from my position as a youth pastor to take full advantage of the insane foosball skills I have developed. The Lord is clearly calling me to the life of a pro foosball player, and I must answer His call. Peace!”
Following the press conference, Wyatt clarified that he could never have done this without his students. “They opened up this door for me,” he said. “I would never have had this opportunity if it weren’t for all the Wednesday nights I spent completely destroying middle schoolers in foosball. They made this all possible. While I was in the middle of just demoralizing little Jimmy in a 10-0 game, I knew this was my next step.”
At publishing time, Wyatt had autographed the church’s foosball table as a farewell gift.
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Babylon Bee
Jesus Christ is King
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