CHICAGO, IL — The coaching staff of the Minnesota Twins recently made a breakthrough discovery after realizing that the key to winning baseball games is simply playing every game against the Chicago White Sox.
Commentators and Twins fans alike have hailed the discovery as “the biggest thing in baseball since the Great Bambino,” with most affirming that rooting for the Twins is much more enjoyable now that their team has a 100% win rate against the White Sox.
“It’s so simple…yet so brilliant!” exclaimed Rocco Baldelli, head coach for the Twins. “The answer was under our noses this entire time — there we were, putting out records like 56-45, when we could have been making 103-0 easily just by playing the White Sox all the time. What a hoot! We all love them White Sox, you betcha!
Both White Sox fans seem to have been rather unaffected by their team’s full-time schedule against the Twins, as they had already grown used to watching their team lose games left and right.
“Hey, at least the new arrangement offers us some stability,” said Garth Juniper, who was wearing a White Sox jersey reading ‘2005 World Series.’ “At least we now get to see some real baseball plays when the Twins are at bat.”
At publishing time, several NFL teams had realized that the path to the Super Bowl was as easy as just playing the Detroit Lions all the time.
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Babylon Bee
Jesus Christ is King
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