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Steven Spielberg Apologizes For Removing Kiss Between E.T., Elliott

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LOS ANGELES—In a bombshell interview that has divided the movie’s fans and set the internet ablaze, director Steven Spielberg apologized Friday for removing a kiss between E.T. and Elliot from his classic 1982 film. “Though I understand now why fans wanted the titular extraterrestrial to grab his 10-year-old costar, lean him back, and give him a long, passionate kiss as the music swelled, back then I felt differently,” said the three-time Oscar winner, revealing that while he had scripted, choreographed, and shot such a scene—which featured E.T. pointing his glowing finger at Elliott, saying ‘You…kiss…me,’ and then waddling toward him at full speed while frantically sticking out his long, leathery tongue—he ultimately opted to cut the sequence. “At the time, it felt like E.T. and Elliott had this steamy underlying chemistry, and it didn’t add much to have E.T. stick his tongue down the boy’s throat. Instead, I wanted you to imagine E.T. and Elliot’s shadows intertwined as they rode a bicycle through the sky across a full moon. But apparently, I was wrong.” At press time, Spielberg also apologized for his controversial decision to leave in 15 minutes of hardcore sex between two triceratops at the end of Jurassic Park.

The Onion

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