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Billionaire Credits Millionaire Friends With Keeping Him Humble

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SAN FRANCISCO—Pointing out that most of them don’t even own a professional sports team, local billionaire Felix Stacey gave his millionaire friends credit Monday for keeping him humble. “It’s easy to become out of touch when you have billions and billions of dollars, but I can always count on my millionaire friends to keep me grounded,” said Stacey, explaining that hanging out with salt-of-the-earth millionaires who live simple lives in unassuming mansions helped him stay connected to his hardscrabble roots as the son of a CFO who toiled for a multinational conglomerate. “My advice to anyone who finds themselves with a billion dollars is to surround yourself with people who won’t let you forget the gated subdivision you came from. Every time I take my superyacht for granted, my friends are there to remind me that some people only have sailing yachts.” At press time, sources confirmed Stacey’s centibillionaire acquaintances were totally uninterested in remaining humble.

The Onion

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