WASHINGTON—Providing long-awaited insight into the attempted assassin’s mental state, a report released Monday found that gunman Thomas Matthew Crooks googled “How to be an enigma” before trying to kill former President Donald Trump. “After reviewing the shooter’s browser history, we have discovered several searches for phrases such as ‘cultivating mystery’ and ‘tips for becoming and remaining unknowable,’” said federal investigator Terrance Jepson, noting that Crooks also appeared to have bookmarked WikiHow pages like “10 Steps To Transform Yourself Into An Inscrutable Paradox.” “It seems the perpetrator became obsessed with the idea of being a secret to all and took part in discussions on Discord in which he inquired about other people’s experiences being a riddle with no solution. Several of his classmates have even come forward to suggest that he appeared to be both someone and no one at all during the time they knew him.” Sources went on to confirm that Crooks clearly never found any satisfactory answers to his search queries, as there was hardly anything mysterious about being yet another American who sought instant notoriety and had access to an assault rifle.
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