The Heritage Foundation’s Project 2025 has been widely criticized as “extremist” and “authoritarian.” The Onion takes a look at the statistics behind the conservative plan for a second Donald Trump administration.
- 30: Minutes after conception before abortion considered late-term
- 7: Footnotes devoted to the ideal skull shape of an American child
- 77,000: Federal employees who will be replaced by anyone with a receipt proving they purchased an official Trump Store beach towel
- 815: Appearances of the word “hellfire” in the document
- 9: Dilbert strips included for levity
- 5: Diagrams of Obama falling down a flight of stairs into an alligator pit
- 24: Number of times Trump has heard about Project 2025 for the first time
- $250: Starting price for a fertile wife
- 4: Number of font changes it took to get sinister nature just right
- 60,000,000: Aborted fetuses that will be brought back to life through necromancy
- 3: Stylish haircuts recommended for the modern Aryan male
- 922: Pages the author was willing to write just to try to convince people he doesn’t watch porn
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