Referee Warns Olympic Women’s Boxing Finalists Not To Punch Each Other In The Testicles

PARIS — As the world prepared for an unprecedented gold medal bout, the referee presiding over the Olympic women’s boxing finals warned both competitors to not punch each other in the testicles.

The warning, which came from the official as two dudes prepared to make Olympic history by competing in the very first all-male match for the gold in the final round of women’s boxing, reflected the Olympic Committee’s goal to encourage fairness and sportsmanship.

“Please, no punches to the yam bag,” Olympic boxing referee Claude Laurent said. “If these men do not adhere to the rules and insist on swinging at each other’s… how you say… junk, then it will leave a black mark on the history of women’s boxing forever. So, for the sake of fair competition and sportsmanship, do not punch each other in the testicles.”

Boxers Imane Khelif of Algeria and Lin Yu-ting of Taiwan, who prepared to face off in the final after mercilessly pounding women with their fists, agreed that hits below the belt would not be acceptable. “It’s quite painful,” Khalif said through an interpreter. “No one competing for the women’s gold medal should have to experience being hit in the testicles.”

At publishing time, both fighters agreed that even if there were unintentional punches landed below the belt, they would not hold it against each other and would still consider each other “bros” after the fight.

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Babylon Bee