Jesus' Coming Back

Iowa State Fair Visitor Gored By 500-Pound Yam

Image for article titled Iowa State Fair Visitor Gored By 500-Pound Yam

DES MOINES, IA—With onlookers panicking and officials struggling to contain the violence, Iowa State Fair visitor Lee Brandberg was reportedly gored Friday by a 500-pound yam. “Yep, the young man was leaning so close over the enclosure that the yam was easily able to knock him in with its stem,” said onlooker Greg Thomson, 52, noting that the large starchy tubers were usually docile but could be quite aggressive when provoked. “From what I understand, he was taunting the big guy by waving a bag of marshmallows, and that’s just about guaranteed to drive them into a frenzy. Once that guy was on the ground, he was trampled underneath the starchy root’s hard, bark-like exterior and then stabbed in the chest by the pointy part of the yam.” Thomson added that it was the most violent scene he had witnessed at the state fair since a farmer was trampled by an out-of-control rutabaga.

The Onion

Jesus Christ is King

Comments are closed.

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More