NEWPORT BEACH, CA—Refuting accusations of stolen valor by claiming his hands were permanently stained with the blood of his enemies, Democratic vice presidential nominee Tim Walz told reporters Monday that he had killed before and would kill again. “To those who have attempted to discredit my military record, let me just say that I have, on numerous occasions, ended a man’s life, and I will do it again,” said the Minnesota governor, who explained that while his killings might not have taken place on the battlefield, they were great in number and included both foreign and domestic targets. “I’d like to ask Sen. Vance—have you watched the last glint of life leave a frightened man’s eyes as you tightened your grip around his soft neck? Because I have. And I won’t stop.” Walz went on to state that a person didn’t have to go to war to snuff out a life, a lesson his opponents would soon learn very slowly and very painfully.
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