J.D. Vance Accuses Tim Walz Of Stolen Valor For Wearing ‘Grill Master’ Apron

WASHINGTON—Lambasting the Democratic vice presidential candidate across social media platforms, J.D. Vance reportedly accused Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz Tuesday of stolen valor for wearing an apron that said “Grill Master.” “Tim Walz is a liar—he has never attained the rank of grill master,” said Vance, attacking Walz for misrepresenting his culinary record in what he claimed was an affront to the real, brave grill masters who wielded spatulas every day. “I know for a fact that Tim Walz was indoors, in the kitchen, when he wore that grill master apron. I wonder, has he ever been on a real deck? I heard he even abandoned his barbecue when the ice cream truck went by.” At press time, Vance was fending off criticism that he himself had only ever used a George Foreman electric grill.