Metrolinx, the entity whose approach to completing the Eglinton LRT is most accurately comparable to George R.R. Martin’s approach to finishing the A Song Of Ice And Fire books, has raised eyebrows for it’s costs in recent weeks. These include paying 72% more for the same subway cars we ordered just a few years ago, asking for over a billion dollars to complete the Ontario Line, and calculating $150 million as the cost to build 2 kilometres of bike lanes. To give an example of Metrolinx’s creative accounting, here is what a typical household budget would look like if they made it:
Rent: Landlord asked for 2300, but we accidentally sent him 23,000.00. Don’t tell anyone.
Utilities: Didn’t even open the bills. Just sent 5k to each one.
Groceries: 0
Eating Out: 10,000.00
Entertainment: 200k for the remaining Tragically Hip members to play in our apartment and we get to sing in place of Gord
Car: 750 (but we’re gonna be able to sell it and rely on public transit when the Ontario Line opens on time. Right?)
Child Care: 2,000 for two pre-schools our one child is simultaneously enrolled in, with different, arguably contradictory, educational philosophies.
Clothing: 50k for 50 suits. Sure we only needed one but by buying in bulk the price per suit went down by 200 bucks so really we saved money!
Miscellaneous: 1 million we accidentally flushed down the toilet, 12 million for incidentals, 44 million in kickbacks to the boss who hired me for my 100k a year job, 50 million in advertisements mocking anyone who says anything bad about me.
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