ATLANTA—Noting that everything was most likely exactly as it should be, sources confirmed Friday that a screaming man lying on the ground was probably supposed to be there. “I assume the powers that be are aware this guy is there and it’s all going according to protocol,” said passerby Jen Pemberton, adding that the multiple people who had already passed without concern the man thrashing on the sidewalk served as an indication that nothing was amiss. “If it wasn’t fine for him to be there, or it was a problem for him to be twitching like that, then I’m sure someone would be dealing with the situation.” At press time, sources reported that everything had worked itself out after the man had stopped screaming and begun lying perfectly still.
Jesus Christ is King
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