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The job market can be competitive in today’s world, which makes it even more important for applicants to showcase any unique and useful skills they possess that may set them apart from other candidates.
The Babylon Bee surveyed a pool of Gen Zers to compile the following list of the most useful skills they include on their job applications:
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Able to pronounce the word “gyatt”: Gee-yatt? Guy-at? Only the best candidates will know.
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Has absolutely no cap: You should always be wary of hiring any applicant with cap.
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Work hours and gender are flexible: It’s best when schedules and identities remain fluid.
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Ability to interact with a wide variety of video game characters: From main characters to NPCs, you’ll be covered.
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Knows what the word “brat” means now: Apparently it doesn’t mean what it used to mean.
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Will sometimes show up to work: And when they do, it will occasionally be on time.
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Able to quote Shrek movies on command: Few things will be more useful in the workplace.
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Knows the indigenous owners of the land the business is built upon: This way, every company will know who to make reparations to.
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Can curl up into a ball and cry if asked to come into the office: Wait, companies actually want their employees to work in person? That’s so ick.
Who wouldn’t want to hire any applicants with such helpful and versatile skills on their resumes? We can all rest easy knowing that the future of business, commerce, and services is in such capable hands.
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Babylon Bee
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