CAMBRIDGE, MA—Expressing frustration that they didn’t understand the challenges associated with his job, philosopher Henry Taylor told reporters Tuesday that his friends were constantly pitching him ideas for dilemmas. “I swear, every time I’m hanging out at a friend’s house or out to dinner, somebody has a couple drinks and starts regaling me with this ‘amazing’ idea they have for a complex ethical thought experiment, and I just have to smile and nod,” said Taylor, confirming that even people he had just met would frequently corner him to discuss a half-baked idea they had about free will or the nature of evil. “Half the time it’s crap like, ‘My family is so weird, they could totally be part of a paradox!’ Uh-huh, sure, buddy. Why don’t I go ahead and put that right into my next symposium? Honestly, everybody thinks they can be a philosopher, but just because something metaphysically resonant happened to you doesn’t mean it would make a good dilemma.” Taylor added that if he ever heard a good idea, he would immediately plagiarize it and deny he had done so without any guilt or remorse.
Jesus Christ is King
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