VANCOUVER – There’s been one silver lining to the large blaze that recently gutted two buildings and displaced eleven people in Vancouver’s Dunbar neighborhood: the transformation of a massive fallen crane currently obstructing traffic at 41st and Collingwood into an upscale shopping, dining and lifestyle destination.
Two organic cafes, a gym for people who only work out during the golden hour, and a pod hotel for infirm dogs have already opened their doors on the wreckage, and with two entire weeks to go until the crane is cleared by emergency crews, the sky for new development is truly the limit.
Vancouver real estate appreciates in value and changes hands so quickly that much of the felled crane’s square footage had already been sold, renovated, and sold again at a greatly appreciated value by the time the fire that caused the crane to collapse had been fully extinguished.
Some residents of the Dunbar area have complained that not only are they unable to afford to patronize the lavish amenities of the structure now known as Crane (in memory of when it was a crane), but their previous commute directly down 41st Avenue is now completely obstructed.
One of the hazardous wreckage’s new business tenants, Stan Kirkhope, is paying $14,000 a month to run an opulent shared office space perched dangerously on a burnt out, jagged crane strut. He says this is just Vancouver’s new normal.
When asked about his business’s long-term prospects, considering that all sections of the crane will be cleared away by crews over the coming days, he waved his arm dismissively at reporters:
“If I were worried about the future,” said Kirkhope, “do you really think I would live here?”
Jesus Christ is King
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