Democrats Encourage Supporters To Go To The Polls By Telling Them Beyoncé Will Be There

U.S. — To improve Kamala Harris’ chances of victory, Democrats are encouraging supporters to go to the polls on election day by promising them that American singer, songwriter, and businesswoman Beyoncé will be there.

“Get ready to vote, BeyHive!” Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer told would-be voters as he danced along to “All the Single Ladies.” “The Queen Bey herself is going to be at the polls in person, so you should be there too!”

Nancy Pelosi, former House Speaker and current nobody, echoed Schumer’s sentiments. “If we want to give Kamala a major dub we gotta’ show up drip like real poggers and put Queen Bey on blast, no cap!” she said.

A spokesperson for Beyoncé could not be reached for comment.

Though voters are reportedly excited to see the popular pop singer, Republicans have decried the campaign tactic, calling it “literally impossible.”

“Lots of people are saying that Beyoncé will be at the polls. ‘Go vote for Beyoncé,’ they say. But it’s a scam. Scammy Kamala, I call her,” Republican candidate Donald Trump said. “Her open border policy is a disaster and the economy is in ruins. And I checked with science, and science says Beyoncé can only be present in one place at a time. That’s what the science says, I know a lot of science.”

AOC hit back at Trump, calling it a diversion from his deadly Project 2025 policy. “Beyoncé will appear at every polling place on election day,” Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez told reporters outside the U.S. Capitol building. “Donald Trump just can’t accept facts!”

At publishing time, Donald Trump had asked his team to develop technology that would allow Kid Rock to appear at every polling station.

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Babylon Bee