Jesus' Coming Back

Man’s Therapist Suggests He May Just Have An Abusive Relationship With His Favorite Sports Team

CHICAGO — Local sports fan Raymond “The Ray Dog” Williams, felt dejected Thursday when his therapist suggested that his relationship with his favorite sports team might just be abusive.

“Ray, you deserve better,” Dr. Franklin Tomás told his patient at their most recent appointment. “Be kind to yourself and let them go.”

“I can’t,” Williams reportedly replied. “It’s not their fault they’re this way. It’s my fault.”

Williams, who has been a fan of the Chicago White Sox ever since he was a child, reportedly entered a major depressive episode after his team lost 21 straight games. “Each loss felt like a gut punch to my soul,” he said at the start of therapy. “But I’m hopeful they’ll win this next game. I’ve already got tickets!”

Williams was found to be just one of several million men caught in a cycle of abuse typified by isolation, low self-esteem, and guilt. His family finally encouraged him to seek help after he bought season tickets. He previously relayed how his wife had pulled him aside to question him. “Why do you still watch the games?” she had asked. “Look at what they’re doing to you!” All Williams could say at the time was that the White Sox needed him.

Williams had reportedly made little progress in his therapy, but today was a revelation. As part of that breakthrough, he agreed to share his story with others. His therapist said he has a long road ahead, but he hopes Williams’s example can free other men from their own abusive sports team relationships.

“We all have demons,” Williams said. “Mine are the Chicago White Sox. But I just can’t quit them. I’m not ready.”

At publishing time, Raymond Williams was hopeful that the White Sox would win today’s game against the Texas Rangers, a team with twice as many wins on the season.


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Babylon Bee

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