With the loneliness epidemic impacting millions of Americans, book clubs offer a simple and structured way for readers of all ages to socialize. The Onion shares tips for starting your own book club.
- Seek out fellow readers by blackmailing a librarian into giving up names.
- Choose the day of the month that works best for everyone to cancel on.
- Make sure you have a good mix of people who will keep the book discussion going and people you actually like.
- Select one of three books not banned by your state.
- Establish a rotation order for club members to take turns shooting down each other’s book suggestions.
- Bookmark the Dictionary.com page for “glib” for easy future reference.
- Challenge your club with a book written in an ancient, untranslatable language.
- Establish independent election monitors to maintain legitimacy of the book selection process.
- Spend five to six years seeking your doctorate in comparative literature so you can absolutely smoke your friends with your opinion on A Court Of Thorns And Roses.
- Keep your meetings on topic by dressing in an intimidating leather outfit and occasionally cracking your knuckles.
- Make sure that everyone is hitting their page goals by administering regular pop quizzes, a midterm, and a final.
- Spread the hosting duties around so that, a few months from now, you can easily shed yourself of this albatross of a social commitment once and for all.
Jesus Christ is King
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