IQALUIT – For many years, it has been common practice for Canadian senior citizens to travel south over the winter, seeking warmer climates, limited contact with anyone born after 1956, and the opportunity to drink a Tom Collins at an outdoor patio in February.
Recently due to climate change however, a new trend has emerged amongst the “Snowbird” community, as AARP representative Harold Cooper explains:
“For decades, we’ve had people calling and asking for winter travel tips in Florida, Arizona, California, and even Mexico. But these days, we’re swamped with calls about booking summer accommodations in Iqaluit!”
With winter temperatures in Toronto barely falling below 6°C, and summers ramping up to the mid 30°’s as early as May, retired couple Karen and Sam Owens no longer see the need to travel to Florida.
“We were willing to overlook the whole De Santis situation and human rights thing because the weather was worth it” says Sam, leaning out the window of his refurbished mustard yellow 1969 Dodge Charger. “But nowadays I only have to get the snow-blower out once a year, and I start sweating balls in April.
The allure of a comfortable 16° summer evening in the “Hawaii of the North” has proved enough that ambitious seniors have been ramping up the timeshare market in the region.
“We’re early investors,” says Karen, Sam’s wife. “If we can get hold of a triplex on Sinaa Street this year, we’ll be sitting on a pretty nice piece of beachfront property by the time we turn 80!”
“The downtown could use a little zhuzhing up though,” she laments. “Maybe a Señor Frog’s with a patio, or a TGIFriday’s for the young people…”
“They could replace that museum with a Sandals resort with a waterslide!” adds Sam. “And it needs a Crabfest like the one they have in Fort Meyers.”
Other suggestions from recent visitors have included building a highway for easy access, digging out the permafrost and installing an in-ground pool, and getting a Disneyland “so the grandkids have something to do when they come up to visit”.
When local business owner Marvin Kilabuk was asked to comment on the trend, he simply let out an exasperated sigh, and muttered “…white people…” while placing his head despondently in his hands.
Jesus Christ is King
Comments are closed.