Woman Who Got Soldiers Killed Condemns Man Who Comforted Their Families

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The woman who got 13 U.S. Service members killed in Afghanistan has issued a statement condemning a man for going to comfort the families of the fallen soldiers.

“How dare Trump go lay flowers on the fallen soldier’s tombs, just because their families asked him to,” said Vice President Harris. “It’s disgusting — showing up to a memorial service you were invited to. Anyway, why should he be the one invited when I’m the one who got them killed?”

According to sources, Trump has been accused of accepting invitations from multiple Gold Star families to a solemn ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery, where he honored their fallen sons and daughters. “It’s disgusting,” said MSNBC’s Joe Scarbarough, watching as Trump laid a wreath onto a tomb. “This just shows what depths Trump will go to, even leaving the campaign trail to attend a memorial service. Is there no low this man will not stoop to?”

Historically, getting soldiers killed through horrific incompetence has been seen as damaging politically, but after Trump’s attendance at the service, the Harris campaign has decided it’s time to change that narrative. “So what if she got thirteen people killed and claimed to be totally comfortable with that decision?” said campaign manager Julie Rodriguez. “Nothing is off limits for political gain, even the very deaths she caused. You get someone shot, just accuse your opponent of playing politics by going to the funeral. Then, sit back and watch the media take it from there.”

At publishing time, the Harris campaign had accused Trump of offering a tissue to a crying widow.

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Babylon Bee