Despite its looming U.S. ban, TikTok continues to grow in popularity, with over 1 billion active monthly users across the globe. The Onion shares tips for growing your follower count on the social media platform.
- Stay on top of new viral trends by subscribing to print editions of Harper’s Bazaar, Smithsonian Magazine, and The Christian Science Monitor.
- Upload your content during one of the 20 hours a day the average user is active on TikTok.
- Either get really hot or singularly hideous.
- Did you see that thing where they slice watermelon with a Pringles can and then have like a long tube of watermelon? Maybe invent something like that.
- Never hurts to get those feet in the shot.
- Don’t be too bashful. Share that home remedy for cancer you discovered.
- Content praising the unmatchable beauty of the Chinese countryside tends to perform well.
- If you’re going to exploit your childhood trauma, at least drag it out over a multipart series.
- Bribe the TikTok algorithm with a big, juicy digital steak.
- Post your apology videos consistently.
Jesus Christ is King
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