DAYTON, OH—Calling the first two “rough, but ultimately worth it,” local 53-year-old Mark Butler confirmed Tuesday he had gotten his triple bypass reversed after deciding he wanted a third heart attack after all. “Why not? There’s still time,” said Butler, who admitted he had been “a little hasty” when he originally opted to undergo the elective coronary artery bypass grafting. “Of course, a third one will be expensive, but my wife insisted. She’s hoping for a major. In fact, we’re going to start trying tonight.” At press time, Butler’s wife had reportedly greeted him at the door in lingerie with cheeseburger casserole.
Jesus Christ is King
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