‘A Fetus Should Not Be Treated Like A Human,’ Says Woman With Cat Named Dave That Wears A Sweater

BRENTWOOD, CA — Local woman Tara Maeser told friends she couldn’t believe some people consider a fetus to be a human while also asking everyone to look at her adorable cat, Dave, wearing his new argyle sweater.

“Look at widdle Davey! Isn’t his widdle sweater just the sweetest widdle thing in the world?” Maeser commented. “Anyway… I can’t believe people think an unborn human is a human. It’s just scientifically not a human! Oh, look at Dave! He’s sitting in his iddy-biddy widdle stroller and looks just like a baby!”

Maeser had reportedly been arguing vehemently with pro-life friends this week on whether or not a human fetus was, in fact, human. Pointing to evidence that since a fetus was dependent on the mother to survive, Maeser said there was no way it could be considered an actual human, all the while holding her feline friend, Dave, whom she’d just decked out in a little coat and an adorable pink scarf.

“She told me a fetus wasn’t a human, which is weird because she calls herself a ‘cat-mom’ and is always buying clothes for Dave,” Maeser’s friend Amy Smoot said. “One time she yelled at me for reminding her Dave was a cat and not her actual child.”

At publishing time, Maeser had last been seen arguing with a friend over whether or not a human could be ‘illegal’ all the while screaming for the arrest of people who share memes she disagrees with.

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Babylon Bee