ROME — Sources close to Pope Francis confirmed that the 87-year-old Bishop of Rome has just challenged Jesus Christ to a debate on how people can get to heaven.
According to Francis, the debate has been in the works for quite a while, though he’s hoping that Jesus will finally take him up on the offer now.
“I really need set the Lord straight,” said the successor of the Apostle Peter. “We’ve just kept missing each other. One of those ‘prayer tag’ things, you know? Anyway, I heard Jesus said something bigoted about ‘no one coming to the Father except through me’, and ugh – that’s just so exclusionary! So, I’ve challenged God Incarnate to a debate so I can teach Him a thing or two about how people come to God.”
According to sources in the Vatican, Pope Francis has decided to start off by explaining how all religions are paths to God, and telling Jesus that He must not have really meant it when He said that Jesus is the door to salvation. The Pope will then reportedly explain to the omnipotent Creator of the universe how God’s plan of salvation actually works.
At publishing time, Heavenly sources reported that this was not going to go real well for the Pope.
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