Jesus' Coming Back

Actor Informed Producers Decided To Go With A Dog For The Role

LOS ANGELES—Assuring him the right part would come along eventually, actor Will Bachman’s agent informed him Thursday that, after a lengthy casting process, the producers of the television pilot he auditioned for had chosen to go with a dog in the role instead. “It was very competitive, and you should feel proud to have gotten as far as you did, but ultimately they decided an Australian shepherd mix was more in line with their vision for the best friend character,” Alyssa Jacobs of Creative Artists Agency told her client, saying that despite Bachman’s strong audition, callback, and chemistry read, the show’s creative team opted to take the role in a less human, more canine direction. “Look, you know this business isn’t fair. The whole casting department is probably already chummy with Waffles because they know his dad from Air Bud and Homeward Bound. Rejection stings, but in this industry, it happens to everyone—even Jack Nicholson was beat out for that role opposite Tom Hanks in Turner & Hooch.” At press time, the agent had ended the call on a hopeful note by letting Bachman know that, if he played his cards right and the pilot went to series, he might be able to pick up work as the dog’s stand-in.

The Onion

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