LONG BEACH, CA — In an immediate sign that Governor Gavin Newsom’s crackdown on memes is taking effect, the Long Beach Police Department announced that a special tactical unit executed a raid of a private residence today and seized over 2,000 memes.
The bust took place at an unsuspecting location, reportedly the home of what was described by neighbors as a nice, quiet family. In all, authorities seized over 2,000 of what a department spokesman categorized as “pure, uncut memes.”
“This is a historic day and a historic bust,” said Long Beach Police Sargeant Ray Thorson. “Governor Newsom made it very clear that this trash has no business being out on the streets. We received a tip from one of the neighbors that someone in this residence was engaging in illegal meming. We executed a search warrant and quickly discovered the largest meme stockpile any of us had seen.”
Witnesses on the scene said one rookie officer ran out of the home vomiting after seeing the memes. “He was horrified,” a police insider said. “He’s clearly not used to seeing humor of this caliber. You just never expect to find this stuff in a calm, suburban neighborhood. There are families that live around here. Kids play in the streets. And inside, you find this type of dangerous material. It’s disturbing.”
At publishing time, officers had transported multiple cases of memes to police headquarters for analysis, with Sergeant Thorson declining to comment on whether this may lead to taking down a much larger internet meming cartel.
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