DETROIT, MI — Famed talk show host and meme subject Oprah Winfrey was showered with accolades today after last night’s release of a moving 1-hour special on the dangers of alcohol abuse.
According to viewers, Winfrey sat down with one of America’s most well-known drunkards for an interview, presumably in a thinly veiled attempt to warn Americans just what might happen if they also succumb to the siren call of the bottle.
“It was a really powerful show,” recalled Oprah fan Jack Morley. “I watched it as Oprah went through and hammed it up with whoever that other completely sozzled lady was on the show. It was a stark illustration of what can happen to a person when they fall into the abyss of alcoholism. I didn’t know a human could drink that much and stay conscious.”
While producers of Oprah’s show said that it wasn’t actually intended to be about alcohol abuse, Winfrey herself confirmed that she had hoped her message would hit home in the hearts of intemperate lushes across America.
“It’s always, ‘You get a beer, and you get a beer, and you get a beer!'” Winfrey complained. “I think we need to get our people back on the temperance train again. The clear message of this show is don’t drink, or you could end up like this poor soul!”
At publishing time, Winfrey was reportedly considering visiting the White House to do a special talk show highlighting the plight of dementia patients.
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Babylon Bee
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