Eric Adams Declares New York A Sanctuary City For Mayors Facing Federal Criminal Charges

NEW YORK, NY — In a bold defense of mayors nationwide, Eric Adams declared New York City a sanctuary city for any mayors out there who may happen to be facing criminal charges.

According to an official statement from the Office of the Mayor of New York, Adams felt that it was his duty to make sure that the Big Apple would always remain welcoming of public officials, especially those who could be at a disadvantage because of an indictment from a federal grand jury.

“Here in New York, we believe that all people belong and are to be welcomed,” Adams said. “Especially mayors. And most especially those mayors, who may hypothetically be facing federal prosecution after taking a hardline stance on some theoretical border policy. We think they belong too. This is their safe space.”

Political experts hailed the announcement as a shrewd move. “Well played, Mayor Adams. A brilliant chess move,” one analyst said. “As we’ve already learned, once you declare a place to be a sanctuary city, people can avoid being held accountable for any crimes they’ve committed once they get there. Congratulations to Mayor Adams and any other federally indicted mayor who seeks refuge in New York.”

At publishing time, Adams’ announcement had proved to be immensely popular, with a caravan of panicked Democratic mayors from all across the country forming to march to New York.

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